Today I’m back with a reflective blog post.

I’m not a fan of telling people what to do, particularly on the internet. Instead, I’m much more at home sharing what I’m learning and discovering for myself. If you find the insights worthwhile, wonderful. Even better, perhaps it will inspire you to pull out a journal and write down your own!

Here are a few things I learned (and relearned!) in 2023:

Slow down to go fast

I do my best and feel my best when I’m operating from a feeling of peace and quiet. This feeling can arise amid busy and hectic times – as it did during the lead-up to the birth of our second child or in managing some complex situations in my coaching business, just as it can be present when not much is going on.

Strangely, the feeling of slowness seems to have nothing to do with what is going on around me and everything to do with how I’m relating to my experience (and my own mind). Ironically, I tend to get more done (and make better decisions) in less time when I am feeling slow/peaceful, which is why the saying “slow down to go fast”, paradoxical as it is, makes a lot of sense. This year brought this insight forward time and time again. It’s a message that I know, but also forget. I’m glad 2023 reminded me!

I’m not in control, and that’s OK

I’m skeptical of goals, particularly the BHAGs and resolutions that get formulated at the beginning of a company Fiscal Year or on New Year’s Day for the personal development inclined. Goals have some value in organizing one’s efforts and in remembering what matters. For teams – they have a bit more utility in aligning people in the same direction and coordinating work. However, the real wins in life and work seem to be ancillary to the goals. The wins arise as a function of showing up to life fully, in a more engaged manner, over a period of time.

In 2023, my most proud moments were difficult (perhaps even impossible) to predict in 2022. Life sorts itself out in exceedingly complex ways. I can set goals and create a vision – and make them BIG if I wish – so long as I remain firmly grounded in the understanding that there are much bigger forces at play than my ego calling the shots. Better yet, I can commit to showing up more fully engaged in whatever I do, and trust that what comes out of my involvement will be enough to move things forward. I learned that I don’t need to micro-manage my future, and things can still get done, and amazing things can unfold.

Tune-out to tune-in

Several years ago I quit Facebook and Instagram. About a year ago I quit Twitter. I was a very early and active user of those platforms. I deleted my accounts (not just deactivated). I have no philosophical stance on the value of these services. They are clearly useful for some. However, I found that they were not conducive to my maintaining a nice state of mind.

In the same way that watching horror movies at frequent and random times of the day would not be good for sanity, diving into information that is prone to gossip, fear and outrage isn’t healthy for the human mind. While these platforms were important sources for me to connect with family, friends, and clients, the cons outweighed the pros.

One benefit to the elimination of these platforms is the emergence of more boredom in my day! I’m not kidding. I’m finding myself with fewer easy ways to distract myself. While YouTube shorts are a nice source of a dopamine hit (which I occasionally partake in), I’m becoming more likely to go without my phone throughout the day, and lately, read more books!

Perhaps the best benefit of cutting out so many “noisy” sources of external information of the emergence of a clearer signal and trust in my deeper sense of what to do in my life and stronger opinions and thoughts about things that matter. This has shown the emergence of healthy habits and choices regarding my diet, fitness, daily routines, business decisions, and more.

I’m not my body, but it still matters!

Every few years I tend to wake up to the fact that my health matters (and then I forget!). Shockingly, such a common-sense thing is forgettable, but it is. This year, inspired by the presence of a new infant in the Raman household (as well as an energetic 4-year-old and two needy dogs), I’ve realized – at my deepest essence – that while I am not my body (I won’t get into that in this post!), it still matters and must be taken care of!

Little aches and pains and low energy levels were brought to the surface as I coped with chasing my son around playgrounds for endless hours over the spring and summer – ducking, dodging, and climbing all over the place in epic games of “tag” or “Lava Monster”. Adopting Koda, a rambunctious pup, pushed my tolerance for walking to a limit. Playing on the floor with an infant, and carrying her everywhere, brought fresh aches and pains in my back.

All this inspired some new changes to my diet and fitness routines that have been helpful. What’s nice is that the changes aren’t taking much willpower to maintain, they just seem like common-sense and the entire process is interesting (and at times fun and playful!).

Life seems to shine a bright light on our weakest points. It’s as if the universe is designed to promote personal growth – in every way – if we will allow it to do so and listen to what it’s saying! Clearly, my body has some weak points, but it also has the strength to heal and grow stronger as is it adapts to life in a way that doesn’t require inordinate amounts of willpower to make it happen.

Onward to 2024.