Is your reality the “right” one?

April 14, 2022

by Ravi Raman

​Beverly Joubert, the award-winning photographer, and filmmaker shared this amazing photo a while back on social media. 

Check it out…

Source: Beverly Joubert

What do you see?

When I first saw the image I thought it was a group of lost donkeys meandering through sand dunes. They seemed out of place. Perhaps the image was a statement about climate change and expanding deserts. I continued scrolling past the image but reversed back to take it in again. 

Then, I saw the caption:

“Where shadows become the solid form and striped backs are lost in the light. #zebramigration” 

Tricky zebra!

This dynamic is happening all the time. We see something in our experience of the world, and buy into it as objectively true, only to realize that something entirely different is going on. 

A few weeks ago I wrote about the slap heard around the world. I wasn’t trying to take sides, but instead, point out a fundamental principle of how the mind works. However, based on the number of opinionated responses I received, it’s clear that there are many different takes on the issue, and conflicting interpretations of what I wrote that differed from my original intent. 

Misunderstandings are inevitable and to be expected. After all, our reality cannot possibly be the “right one”. Even the title of this newsletter, “Is your reality the right one?” is a trick question. 

You can never have a “right” reality any more than your taste in art can be “right” or your judgment of what makes good or bad music can be “right”. Your favorite sports team is not the best one. Your beloved ice cream variety (mint chocolate chip!) is not unanimously tops either. People experience life through the eyes of the beholder, and right now there are nearly 8 billion beholders on the planet.

I don’t see this as a problem, as long as we remember this fact and hold perspectives at arm’s length. Even when you have strong conviction in your viewpoint, you can have an air-gapped understanding that your reality is subjective, and not a universal truth, like gravity or the first law of thermodynamics. 

The result of such an attitude will be a better understanding of important issues, less conflict, improved cooperation, and greater peace of mind. I can’t think of more helpful qualities to cultivate right now.

0 Comments

Leave your comment below:

Read on 📚

What I’ve learned this year (2022 edition)

What I’ve learned this year (2022 edition)

John Dewey, an education reformer and philosopher, is well-known for his understanding that learning doesn't come from experience. It comes from reflecting on experience. Being December as I write this, there is a certain nostalgia in the air as the year comes to a...

Bad news and the power of suspending judgment

Bad news and the power of suspending judgment

Michael slipped on a patch of ice getting into a friends car and fell. A self-proclaimed "klutz," taking a tumble wasn't out of the ordinary. This time, embarrassment wasn't the problem. A lingering pain in his wrist meant something serious was going on. An MRI would...

The Friendly Universe Hypothesis

The Friendly Universe Hypothesis

Is the universe friendly, wicked or ambivalent? I posed this question on LinkedIn a while ago and it provoked reactions, some shared in DMs or email, that ranged from "yes yes yes!!!" to "WTF? The universe doesn't give a s@#t about anyone". Responses showed that most...

The Value Of Sabbaticals In A Workaholic World

The Value Of Sabbaticals In A Workaholic World

This very week 7 years ago was momentous for me. After 13 years at Microsoft I took my first prolonged break from work. It was a true "sabbatical" which according to Google is defined as a sustained period of paid leave for every seven years worked. I was overdue by...

What is Coaching?

What is Coaching?

What is Coaching and who can benefit from it? A simple definition of coaching is set forth by the largest coaching industry and professional organization, the International Coaching Federation (ICF): ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a...

The Truth About Getting More Out Of Less

The Truth About Getting More Out Of Less

What does it take to achieve more? For most of my life, I’ve lived with an underlying assumption that to produce more, I must do more. If I wish to make more money, I must work more. If I want to be better at a sport, I must practice more. If I want to improve the...