I’m two months into a sabbatical, sort of. 

Late last fall I had a stroke of insight, and after discussing it with my wife (and then clients), I decided to take a break from my coaching practice starting in January until (at least) my son starts second grade in September. The past two months have been more about winding things down instead of abruptly ending, as I had a full schedule in the fall. 

I stopped partnering with new clients a few months ago, and as we reached natural ending points in our coaching, wrapped things up. As the weeks tick by I have fewer scheduled meetings and more time to throw into life. By the time the snow has melted for good here in Minnesota, it takes a while, my sort-of-sabbatical will be a legit one. When I first heard the term sabbatical, in my early 20s, it struck me as something people do when they aren’t happy in their work but don’t know what else to do. As I got older, I realized that this is not always true. 

I took a sabbatical ​only one other time​, in my 30s as I was trying to sort out what direction I wanted to take my career. I had a great job at Microsoft for nearly 14 years, with steady upward progress and all the trappings of outward success, but I had an insight that I needed to leave (proactively) to figure out my next step in life. It was a transformative period for my wife and me, and so many unexpected yet good things came from it, even though at the time it was completely out of character for me and a crazy hard decision to make - financially and otherwise. 

Now, over 11 years since that sabbatical ended, I’m at another crossroads where it’s clear that the way things are going has been wonderful in many respects, but that there is a new chapter waiting that I don’t yet know. A lot has happened in the past decade-plus. Many of the things I cared about then have shifted now. Similarly, my life circumstances are dramatically different now. 

I feel called in different ways, not to give up coaching by any means, but instead to sort out how to integrate it into life more fully without compromising family or personal ambitions. With young kids and aging family around, the opportunity cost that comes with spending a day behind a computer on Zoom meetings is harder and harder to justify. 

It would be easier if I didn’t love what I do! There is a clear tension in me between what I enjoy doing for work (I don’t even consider coaching work; ​vocation​ is a better word for it) and what life is demanding of me. Untying this Gordian knot is the primary inspiration for the sabbatical. My ego can’t untie it with brute force; trust me, I’ve tried!

There is also the fact that the wave after wave of AI progress will materially change what it means to be a transformative coach. So far, AI models and tools are helpful for how-to’s and tactical coaching needs, but fall dramatically short of providing the depth of human connection and insight that a masterful coach can offer. Worse, I’ve personally witnessed clients being led tragically astray by overconfident models doling out sycophantic advice with gusto. Worse, they teach people to dehumanize themselves, to tune out of their most precious gift, the capacity for wisdom and insight that emerges from a space in consciousness ​beyond the whir of a busy mind​.

All that said, I’m not a Luddite and realize that with time, the tech will catch up and it will affect every industry, including (and perhaps especially…) those that pundits say are safe from automation, as many service-centric professions have been hailed. I’d rather playfully ride the wave than pretend it isn’t coming. I don’t know what this means for my coaching approach or life, but I am interested in finding out. Tinkering takes time, and sabbaticals are a great time to tinker.

Lastly, I've had the unfortunate experience of saying goodbye to far too many loved ones lately - some expected and others not. I'm increasingly feeling a heartfelt sense of gratitude for every waking moment, while at the same time feeling the truth of how fleeting life is. The little parenting and life challenges that used to annoy me to no end, now have a precious cuteness to them. I feel like my mind has reoriented itself around what really matters. I'm choosing to embrace this phase of life and look forward to being there for my kids and little minutia of life far more, not out of a sense of duty, but because I can't see myself living any other way. 

So I’m looking forward to this break from the steady drumbeat of my working life. I’m not expecting any big adventures, or even eureka moments. At the moment, I’m fully embracing the everyday challenges of potty training and playing “doctor” with my 2.5-year-old while helping my 7-year-old become a better swimmer and reader while learning to embrace and ride the wave of his emotions. 

When in doubt, I’m discovering what it’s like to slow down to the speed of my life. After all, my best ideas tend to emerge when I’m not chasing them.

All my best,

Ravi Raman

Executive Coach On Sabbatical

h/t to my bother-in-law for the cover photo of their tree after a recent east-coast blizzard