Can a week with Tony Robbins forever alter the course of your life?
If you have seen Tony Robbins epic documentary “I Am Not Your Guru” on Netflix, you have witnessed the amazing transformations that can occur through Tony Robbins Date With Destiny program. This weeklong event is designed to compress decades of personal growth into days.
It delivers on that promise.
I’ve been fortunate to attend Date With Destiny, not once, but twice. The second time I brought my wife along. She didn’t know who Tony was when we signed up, and after spending a week with him, she was just as impressed as I was.
When I went to Date With Destiny the first time, I was at a major crossroads in my career. I had been promoted rapidly through my twenties, and my work was meaningful. I also cared about the people I worked with. However, I still felt undervalued. My superiors were highly capable, but I viewed myself as just as capable – and more so in many respects. Why then, was a working for them? Should I start my own company? Should I join a startup? I had many questions tumbling about in my head.
Climbing the corporate ladder was too slow.
I came out Date With Destiny with a newfound energy and purpose for my career, and the courage to do something about it. I’ll spare the details, but my career progressed much more rapidly in the ensuing years.
My second Date With Destiny happened about four years later. Attending the event with my wife allowed us both to experience the transformation, but in our own way. We emerged with a clear sense of our individual and shared values. Eventually, this clarity helped us both build up the courage to leave behind great careers (I was at my previous company for almost 14 years, my wife was at hers for 5 years) to pursue a different dream as we traveled the world for 18 months.
We are now building our own businesses that are in line with our values, skills, passions – that also serve a clear market need.
I don’t know what is drawing you to look into Date With Destiny, but whatever it is, all I can say is that the program delivers!
I also know some tips will help you to get the most out of your experience. That is what this post is going to explain. I’d like to share some things you would benefit from knowing if you are attending – or even considering attending – Date With Destiny. Nothing here is classified or confidential. They are just my helpful thoughts to support you in getting the most out of the experience.
1. Start Date With Destiny open-minded
You may have been to a Tony Robbins event before or maybe you haven’t. Perhaps you’ve simply heard stories of what it will be like. Maybe, like me, you attended Date With Destiny once and are itching to go back again. Regardless of your situation, go in without expectations.
One thing I love about Tony is he is continually refining and improving his teaching based on his learning and experience. What you experienced will not be the same as what you experience again. It’s also crucial that you not immediately resist the things he will have you do that you might consider corny, silly or scary.
Dancing like a fool. Introducing yourself to strangers. Taking a hard look at the things holding you back. It’s all designed to get you out of your self-imposed box. Go along with it and you’ll get more out of the experience (and have more fun in the process!).
Also, don’t worry too much about the particular agenda or exercises you will do during the event. The element of surprise is essential and knowing too much about the event ahead of time will dull the impact.
2. Hang out with new people
This one sounds count-intuitive.
Chances are you will head to the event with your significant other and/or friends. Perhaps when you are there, you will run into an old acquaintance and want to spend time with that person and sit next to them the entire time.
Don’t do it!
When I attended Date With Destiny with my wife, we placed ourselves in different “groups” at the start and sat in separate parts of the audience. We never partnered with each other. In fact, when we returned to the hotel room in the evenings, or when we saw each other during the day, we did not spend much time sharing with each other (however, we shared a lot after we finished the program).
We wanted to ensure that our experiences were unique and that we had the time and space to process everything on our own.
I encourage you to do the same.
3. You don’t need premium seating
I recently had someone reach out to me and ask if it mattered if they had “diamond or premium” seating at Date With Destiny. My answer was it doesn’t matter. Even in a room of 2,000 people, the event is managed in such a way that everyone will feel like Tony is speaking directly to them!
If money is no object to you, sure, diamond or premium seating would be nice as this assures that your seats will be closer to the front. It also will probably mean that the people who are in your groups and seated nearby will be more financially well-off. This could help from a networking standpoint if you care about that.
I’ve been a “diamond” ticket holder at a previous Tony Robbins event but had general seating tickets for my Dates With Destiny, and it was perfectly fine.
If you have that much extra money burning a hole in your pocket, I’d suggest donating it to a worthy charity (like Anthony Robbins Basket Brigade)!
4. Stay at the host venue
Expect long days – that are both physically and emotionally demanding. I’m an ultramarathon runner and Ironman triathlete, and even for me, I would hit the sack at night thoroughly spent (in a good way!).
Tony has publicly stated that he covers the distance of nearly a full marathon each day running all over the room. You won’t be covering a marathon each day, but it will still be tiring.
The first time I attended, I stayed in a condo 1 mile from the event. I didn’t rent a car. It wasn’t fun walking home late at night along a lonely stretch of road. The next time, we stayed at the host hotel, and it saved a lot of time and energy.
You will have a more pleasant experience at Date With Destiny if you stay at the host hotel, or walking distance to it. This makes it easy to pop up to your room for a quick lunch or snack if you need to. You also avoid the rush of people trying to drive back to their hotels after ending a long day at midnight or later (yes, sometimes the days go that long!).
5. Take notes and journal
There is a lot that happens during the week. While you will be given a workbook to use, I noticed that many people weren’t actually taking notes. I was, and am glad I did! Even to this day, I review my notes from Date With Destiny.
I suggest taking notes during the days (bring a separate notebook, you might fill up the one they give you!), and also spending 20 minutes at night to recap your learnings from the day. If you aren’t a fan of writing, use the voice recorder on your phone (it’s built into the iPhone) to record an audio summary of your day.
This will help you get a lot more out of the experience.
6. Take care of yourself
I’ve already said that the days are long.
Do your best to come to Date With Destiny well rested. If you have any issued with your diet, take care of it before the event so you can ensure that you have the mental clarity and energy to engage fully.
During the event itself, be prepared with plenty of healthy snacks, and minimize coffee intake. This advice isn’t because I want to torture you (I love coffee!), it’s to help you manage your energy. The other practicality is that coffee is a diuretic, and you don’t want to waste time running to the restroom.
Make sure your bag has fresh and dried fruits, raw nuts, ginger chews or mints to suck on and keep your breath clean, tons of water.
It’s all makes a difference.
7. Plan for an integration day
One thing I learned from attending numerous yoga workshops and immersions, is the value of allowing for integration time to soak in all the knowledge.
For my last Date With Destiny, we stayed two additional nights (moving to a different hotel for a change of scenery). During these days my wife and I exercised, journaled and shared our Destiny experience with each other.
I think this is a critical part of the transformational process. The last thing you want is to parachute right back into whatever stressful situation you might have at work or home after Date With Destiny.
Give yourself 24–48 hours to integrate and decompress.
8. Find someone to coach you
While transformation can happen in an instant (often, this is the only way it happens!) it can take significant effort to both get to the point where transformation can occur and to maintain it for the long term.
The single best way to manage and integrate your experience over the long term is to work with a partner who can help you through the process of living your values and achieving meaningful goals. You might find this partner during the event, in the form of another attendee.
Alternatively, you might decide to hire a coach like me. There is a reason that the top performers in all disciplines work with someone to help them achieve bigger and better things. A coach can be objective and help you to make progress in a way that friends and family can’t or won’t.
I hope this advice helps you in making your Date with Destiny experience a powerful one. If you are attending Date With Destiny, or perhaps inspired by this post to look into it, leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.
Live with passion!